Open Windows

She slept naked during the fall and winter because her radiator heated her apartment to an unbearable temperature.  It would be 40 degrees outside, she lived in California so her winters were mild, and she would have all her windows open and a fan on.  The fan was also for

Safety Never Guaranteed

When you broke up with me two weeks ago I barely cried once you left the apartment.  I stood behind the door you just exited and I locked the door and I called my mom.  She was at dinner with my dad because it was Friday night.  I wasn’t sobbing

Another Breakup, Another Reminder to Love Myself

I don’t know how to do this.  I hate this so much.  This waiting.  I’m crazy.  When I am in here.  In my head, I feel crazy because I am just waiting for you to decide that I am crazy and you don’t want me anymore.  I cry really hard

The Beginning

You are a beginning and beginnings scare me.  Beginnings are unknown.  Beginnings are risky.  I used to chase the unknown.  I used to thrive in beginnings.  Beginnings are euphoric.  They have all the potential.  They have all the beauty that starts getting overlooked when time moves forward.  you are a

To Lose the Wonder of Being Alive

I wanted to be a true artist, but I really didn’t believe in my art.  My art being my writing. I sat in class watching my professor.  She was tall and slender.  It looked like she didn’t eat enough.  You’d think I would believe in my writing more now that

Writing a Magical Book

I’ve worked at a mental health residential facility for almost six years now.  That wasn’t the plan.  A friend of a friend worked for the company.  She got me the job so that I could make rent while I was getting my MFA in creative writing.  The plan was to


I felt chills run up my spine.  I was on the computer at work trying to read about the history of one of my patients and one of my coworkers brushed her fingers over my neck.  It jolted me because I didn’t know her very well.  I just knew her

Wit and Charm and Albino Raccoons

When I first moved to the lake, I saw two raccoons crossing the street with some kind of white animal.  From afar, I thought it was a white cat with her raccoon friends, but upon closer inspection, I saw that it was an albino raccoon.  When I got into my

The Fucker

The clock stood in the hallway.  It didn’t go with my home.  It was out of place.  An outsider.  If the objects in my home came to life at night like what happens in the Beauty and the Beast, it would be the outcast of the group of talking home decor.  I didn’t mind that

She’s Necessary

I am at the mercy of my first readers these days.  Waiting to see their opinions on a manuscript I know isn’t finished.  The more time I spend away from the manuscript, the farther away I feel from that version of myself within it.  She was lost and stubborn and

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