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alone time

There are 4 bugs balanced around the light in my room. Plenty of their relatives have already been tricked by the fiery light and lay still in the glass shell.  I watch as these mosquitoes repeatedly risk their lives to get just a little closer.  Eventually they too will join their families in their illuminated deaths.

I look towards my window.  It is the time of day when everything has a romantic hue.  The skin on my knees looks flawless.  The scars I received from childhood have disappeared for this charmed while.  This is my favorite time of day.  The sun here seems enormous, it is almost tangible.  As though you can reach out and take a scoop of it to keep in your remembrance box.  It reminds me of the ride I am on.

The intense, lighting in the apartment’s elevator made it impossible to hide as the doors opened to reveal my awkward movements I consider dancing.  As I turned around to find the doors open and a man there waiting for the movement to cease, I stopped instantly and blushed a blush that covered even my ear lobes.  I turned and squeezed by the man refusing to leave the opening meant for one.

I reached my destination.  My first journey in Bangkok alone and victory was mine!  The feeling, for what would later become a very small achievement was immense and a broad smile took over my face.  I walked in.  It was nothing special. There were books and a couple tables.  It was a book store.  This was to be expected.  I then saw a wooden sign with painted categories and an arrow pointing up the hidden stairs.  My interest was relit.  I climbed the steep, narrow, wooden staircase.  The next floor was similar to the first, and so I continued to the third. There was a window on this third floor with metal diamond bars over it, creating a puzzling effect on the room.  As the sun shone through, the books on this story had a different character than the other floors. They were alive.  I did not need to read them to know their contents.  The sun exposed every crinkle in their pages, every beautiful crevice in their leather binding.  They inspired me instantly.  All of a sudden I was a writer and an artist and a magician all at once.  I sat down on a low step ladder near the enigmatic window and let the light touch me as I began to read. There was not one person who would find me up here. Being alone had never felt so comfortable.

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